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      Hol dir Hilfe!

       Cherches de l’aide!

             Chiedi aiuto!

           ¡Pide ayuda!

     Procura ajuda!

 Yardim Íste!

          Kërko ndhimë!

      Kérj segítséget!

      Get yourself some help!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It is not your fault!
No matter what kind of abuse or violence you have experienced, no matter how heavy your experiences weigh on your shoulders: it is not your fault that you have been abused or that you had to experience violence. In every form of abuse or violence, full responsibility lies only within the hands of the person who has abused you or has been violent against you.

You are not alone!
In 10% of Swiss families physical violence takes place. 3000 to 4000 teenagers become victims of sexual assault in the field of sport or leisure everyyear. How many children and teenagers are experiencing physical, emotional and or sexual abuse in the field of school-, sport- and leisure? In any case a lot of them and it affects all levels of society. You are not alone with your experiences!

You are allowed to break your silence and bring it to an end and speak up about those "uneasy secrets"!
The silence of the victims is the best protection for all aggressors. Many times aggressors convince their victims that they will have to keep their "little secrets" to themselves. The fear of betraying the aggressors or that nobody will believe what they will tell about their experiences can be huge.
Are you afflicted? Then it is important that you know that there are ways to end abuse and violence against you, by you starting to talk about it. This way the aggressors will be proved and can be stopped.

Try it again and again!
Many who are afflicted have to talk about the experiences over and over again and ask for help repeatedly in order to finally find someone who believes them. Don't give up if this happens to you, but try to get help further more.

Where one believes you and where you get help!
Trust an adult, a friend or a girl friend or talk to someone of an advisory board/information center. Those people understand your fears and worries, consult and help you to find solutions. You find information about information centers in your telephone directory or here under addresses.

You have the right to get help and to be helped!
In case of an emergency don't hesitate to talk to an adult in the street, on a streetcar, on a bus, to a teacher or other people. You have the right of help and counseling, no matter how painful your experiences have been. According to the UNO Convention of the Rights of the Child (as a whole of 54 articles) you have the right of

  • Equal treatment and protection without discrimination of any kind, irrespective of your race, color, religion, and ethnic or social background and sex
  • A name and a nationality
  • Health
  • Education and culture
  • Leisure time, playtime and recreation
  • To inform yourself, to communicate, to be listened to and peaceful assembly
  • Privacy and education in the sense of equal treatment and peace
  • Instant help in case of catastrophes or emergencies andprotection of cruelty, neglect, exploitation and pursuit
  • A family, parental care and a secure home
  • Care taking in case of a physical, emotional or psychological handicap

Would you like to read the Convention on the Rights of the Child in full length? You will find it under www.unicef.org translated into 58 languages.


You would like to help!

You are someone close to a child or a teenager who is afflicted by abuse or violence? You have watched abuse or violence on a child or teenager?

You would like to help? Then these tips might be helpful to you:

  • Don't do anything hasty. If you like write down "your knowledge" (date and what)
  • Very important: get yourself some help!
    Tell what you have seen an adult, call police emergency number (Switzerland 117/ Austria 133/ Germany 110) or call an information center that you have found out under
    addresses and get counseling yourself.
  • Tell the person who is afflicted that you have read and heard that a lot of children and teenagers are victims of abuse and violence and that you believe what they are telling you.
  • Don't give any promises you can't keep.
  • Ensure the afflicted person that you will not undertake any action without their knowledge.
  • Encourage them to break their silence and talk about their experiences and getting themselves some help.
  • Inform them that every child/teenager has the right to be helped and that further abuse can be stopped if the silence will be broken.
  • Inform afflicted people about addresses of information centers and help lines in the telephone directory or under addresses here.

Abuse and violence

Of child abuse is spoken of, if your rights and dignity are being threatened. This is the case if you are experiencing following forms of violence/abuse:

  • You are refused to your natural needs such as food, health care, clothing, a home.
  • You are being outcasted because of your origin, culture or health.
  • You experience only little or no warmth, surveillance, and protection.
  • Your personal, spiritual, emotional and social development is being neglected or handicapped.
  • You are not given enough space and free time for recreation, leisure and possibilities to contact others.
  • Your behavior is being controlled with money.
  • Your parents are using you as an instrument of financial pressure in case of separation/divorce.
  • You are being forced to participate in violent/ militant or criminal acts.
  • You are being offered for sexual activities to others.
  • You are being sent to beg or to fulfill children's work.

You experience physical violence
If you are held back in a rude way, violently, beaten, strangled, pinched, burned, slapped, kicked, pushed, pulled hair or if you are threatened with a weapon or objects, then it is physical violence.

You experience emotional abuse

  • Your belongings are being destroyed, violence against your friends, the other parent or pet.
  • You are being waylaid, stalked, or pressure and force is put on you.
  • You are being treated as a servant, bossyied or permanently interrupted while speaking.
  • You are being insulted, black mailed, humiliated, depreciated, yelled at, not spoken to or declared insane.
  • You are being treated as a possession, controlled permanently what ever you do or who you speak to. You are forbidden contact with friends and relatives.
  • Looks, actions, gestures and objects or weapons are threatening you.
  • You are being rejected, not noticed or a certain role is expected from you.
  • You experience that aggressors deny abusive acts on you, play down their acts or they imply guilt on you.
  • Threats are outspoken, such as "you will not enter heaven, but hell. God will punish you. You will never be somebody. I should never have procreated you in eligible given birth to you. I will beat you up, lock you/others up. I will give you away to a fosters home, a clinic. I will leave you. I will kill myself."
  • It is being tried to retrieve information on or about the other parent, or you have to negotiate between your parents or you have to take over a part of your parent's role.

You experience sexual abuse (sexual infringement, sexual violence, sexual exploitation)

  • Sexual speeches, making a move on you, looks (at school, family, chat rooms, streetcars, busses, discos, clubs etc.)
  • You feel observed in the bathroom, shower or locker room.
  • You are receiving calls where someone is moaning or indecent words are being outspoken or you are covered with.
  • You receive mail with pornographic contents. Older teenagers or adults are asking you to undress and or take nude pictures of you, promising you presents or trying to convince you and telling you that everybody does that.
  • Older teenagers or adults are undressing themselves posing nude in front of you or acting sexually in front of you, show you pornographic movies or pictures, rub their body on yours getting aroused and ask you to touch them sexually or letting them touch you sexually. They ask you to satisfy them sexually with your mouth or that you have sexual intercourse with them.

Aggressors exist in all cultures and societies. Often they are to be found in your environment of your family, leisure, friends, sport, and school as well as religious, medical or social active environment. In the beginning victims often percept their contact with an aggressor as empathizing, supporting and helpful. Only after some time the victim percepts the contact as more and more powerful and humiliating. Victims can be forced to keep quiet by their aggressors. Child abuse can have a short time impact, but unfortunately most likely live long impacts on victims.

Are you a victim of child abuse or violence? Know that you have basic rights according to the Convention of the Rights of the Child and you have the right to get help.


Effects of Child Abuse

Children/teenagers, who have been afflicted by abuse and violence, loose confidence, are frightened and doubt their own perception. They are speechless, feel betrayed, worthless are full of shame, helpless and without control over their own life (as a victim). They feel guilty even though responsibility lies only within the hands of the aggressors. Experiences with abuse and violence have short time impact, but unfortunately most likely live long impacts on victims.

  • If afflicted victims are not getting help or if help is not organized for them, the aggressors will and cannot be stopped.
  • The pressure, which has built up in a child due to child abuse, can show through "steaming off" by beating up younger children, black mailing, threatening stealing or break belongings of other children.
  • Not to be able to get out of the way from abuse and slip away from abuse, often leads to inner withdraw, difficulties to build and maintain relationships to others, leading a second life in Internet, to escape "to the life out there".
  • Many afflicted people try to drown their pain, fear and shame in alcohol and drugs or self-injury.
  • At school or at work they might attract attention through their changed behavior and with their difficulties to concentrate on learning or work or they might attract attention trough their extremely high performance orientation at work or at school.
  • Because of accumulating critics through their strange behavior might lead to further feelings of worthlessness, unimportance and they start thinking that life doesn't make sense anymore, throw everything away and leave.
  • Not all of them, but quiet a lot of them start realizing the effects of abuse and violence as adults that they have experienced in their childhood or teenage years.
    They suffer still from the described effects above or depression, addiction, eating disorders, self-distroying behavior and disorder of personality. In the meantime it it's proven that children and teenager who have experienced violence will more likely use violence against others in their lives. Sometimes they take their life by them own.

If we look at possible effects we see that what we've been through has a strong impact on our lives and it is therefore important to get help and to encourage afflicted people to go out there and get themselves help.

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